My nipple is on Facebook.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
