how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
