I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
