The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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