i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
