I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
