She said her name was "party"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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