Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
