there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
