what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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