Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
