People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
