Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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