Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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