If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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