but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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