Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
