I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
