so that wasnt chicken after all
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
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well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
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Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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