I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
