Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
