Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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