Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Can I color on your dick again?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
