Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize