Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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