I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
