I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
please come you make the beer taste better
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
