Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
