like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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