that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
