He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Randomize