It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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