Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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