And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
