nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
