I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
