i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
