just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
