ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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