Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
