I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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