once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
