Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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