getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
