high people should be assigned attendants
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
