We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
