look no pants
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
