I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
