So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Ladies don't puke and tell
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
