We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
