She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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