loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
