But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Randomize
