coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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