So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
