nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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