Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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