you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
