Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Houston, we have a squirter
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
