Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I think i peed on brittanys purse
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
