yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Im part way to drunk.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
