Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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