Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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