I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
