Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
