You work out of a Hotel?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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