yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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