I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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