Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
