there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we're making bets on your personal life
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
