Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
